The first dream I can remember: unfortunately it’s a bad one. They always started in an inky void and falling through a glowing yellow halo. This was when I was five years old. I was alone in my parent’s station wagon and had to drive home from downtown Cleveland. We may have gone to the Art Museum or heard the Cleveland Orchestra. What ever it was, I couldn’t drive and I was scared. As I tried to drive across the Detroit-Superior Bridge, I ran up on a truss and the car flipped over and fell into the slate grey river below. Don’t know why I remember it. But if I’ve remembered it this long, maybe there’s something I’m supposed to learn from it. Lately, I’ve been thinking dreams are something I can worship.

Blood drop from a star Fell in a sea of tar: Ones, zeros cooking through the skin. Ambitions of a brat Reborn a diplomat. Atlases we drew in Ritalin. I-eye-eye-eye-eye’ve discovered I’m terrified of history And air-conditioned hypertension Earns respectability. We who found our way In a volume of Jean Genet: Stray kids seeking out a bed. Found a rum soaked bash: Sodomy and the lash. Green flashes flashing in our head. So-oh-oh-oh-oh we’re still waiting For Godot to tell us where we stand. Buying sleepless nights and stomach ulcers From a dogma’s invisible hand. Wasted! The flesh love gave us. Markets! Ain’t gunna save us. Grown up! Knowing nothing at all about life. Delinquent! Making us pay now. Prosper! Wish I could say how. Worship! The great criminal minds, Oh! Jefferson Street at dawn. Rest at night long gone: Strong egos sleeping through the day. Leo DaVinci’s ghost Derided in the Post. Host of smears for living the wrong way. No recantations Explanations or apologies. No regrets ‘bout taking the mantle “First world refuges.” Wasted! The flesh love gave us. Markets! Ain’t gunna save us. Grown up! Knowing nothing at all about life. Delinquent! Making us pay now. Prosper! Wish I could say how. Worship! The great criminal minds, Oh! Malapropos And trim lawn comforts Never show the way that they were Were all the heroes In tintype pictures Sweating out la fee verte? Fostered a callow heart. Life ridiculing art. Our part to bear a callous slur. Streetlight halo glare. Angels in toxic air. Prayers sighed from a provocateur. Why-eye-eye-eye fight the judgment Of a sovereign who’s pronounced us naive, When there’s not faith in hopes of fiction Or what cynicism couldn’t achieve? Wasted! The flesh love gave us. Markets! Ain’t gunna save us. Grown up! Knowing nothing at all about life. Progress! A ruse of desire. Anthems! The ultimate liar. Sing out! Until they learn our game and we’re gone, We’re gone, we’re gone, we’re gone. Delinquent! Making us pay now. Prosper! Wish I could say how. Worship! The great criminal minds, Oh!

Shallow breath and moon burnt pages, Saw the clouds were getting thick. Fingers smarting with each keystroke, Cause they’re chewed down to the quick. Rose blossom fingerprints, Ignorance or innocence. Maybe your careless, Maybe sick. Spinning out and tuning in: Hear the tires slide and screech. Calm moment before the impact, Other options out of reach. The rant of one who’s so inclined To have an overactive mind That’s fast but not lucid. I s-stutter my speech. You too a hit now, But don’t you quit now, Cause this is it now. Kid you’re doing the blank dance. Frustration, Agitation, Alienation. Part of doing the blank dance. It’ll shake you. Don’t let it break you. You’ll learn to make do. Not easy doing the blank dance. Soaked from a night sweat. Can’t quit the fight yet. It ain’t a light bet. Not easy doing the blank dance. All right! Freight train to kill time outside. Run faster or you’ll trip. Steep slope, ground’s unforgiving. Bumpy ride down if you slip. Tally how much you care From the sleepless nights you bear. It’s a way to live. Don’t let ‘em catch you on the hip! You too a hit now, But don’t you quit now, Cause this is it now. Kid you’re doing the blank dance. Frustration, Agitation, Alienation. Part of doing the blank dance. It’ll shake you. Don’t let it break you. You’ll learn to make do. Not easy doing the blank dance. Soaked from a night sweat. Can’t quit the fight yet. It ain’t a light bet. Not easy doing the blank dance. All right! Long ride home in civil twilight. Sky is pressing low. Cold night illuminated By the faint blue speedometer glow. Eyes heavy, thoughts depleted, Hold tight, you’re not defeated. Did it to yourself: A lonely feeling to know. You too a hit now, But don’t you quit now, Cause this is it now. Kid you’re doing the blank dance. Frustration, Agitation, Alienation. Part of doing the blank dance. It’ll shake you. Don’t let it break you. You’ll learn to make do. Not easy doing the blank dance. Soaked from a night sweat. Can’t quit the fight yet. It ain’t a light bet. Not easy doing the blank dance. All right!

Splinters In the window sill In the bedroom where He spent his younger days. Tape hiss On a warped cassette Cuts through suburban smog And the summer haze. She’s staring Into the sky, Watching planes fly by In the cobalt night. Kids play In the cul-de-sac. Streetlights come on, And the neighbors get into a fight. These days, Would you go back home if you could, Though you’ll never get back that naked comfort Lost in your old neighborhood? Grieving What never lasts As the radio waves Give you a broken heart. Building, On stolen time, A truth that no one believes. I guess we should call it an art. These days, Would you go back home if you could, Though you’ll never get back that naked comfort Lost in your old neighborhood? Now we’re lost In the skyscrapers and subways, And customs you know that you need to but can’t understand.. Now you’re lost And the White Rabbit’s left you on your own To navigate your way through Wonderland. Voices Of buried friends Ring in my ears, Or was it something more? Perfume Of fresh cut grass, And I still hear their knock On the rusted driveway screen door. These days, Would you go back home if you could, Though you’ll never get back that naked comfort Lost in your old neighborhood? These days You trip as you try to keep pace. (Life’s shakin’ you up with motion sickness) While you try to map out a new place. These days Would you go back home if you could, Though you’ll never get back that naked comfort Lost in your old neighborhood?

Backwards kid Try’n to learn his part. Born with a lisp And a weakened heart. Hold on, Is that a reason to live? Got a sketch of a song, Nothing more he can give. Always making lovers and enemies. Awake past dawn: Late night radio dial. Running away With a Glasgow Smile. All right, Gotta live with the choice. He’s got the down cast eyes And a cracking voice. Always making lovers and enemies. Innocence fading, Moans serenading. It was a lovely wake. Where’d her blond hair go? Pupils so narrow. Hearts kept confined won’t break. Fun to get lost In the wrong part of town On a hot summer night With the windows down. Oh boy, Another panic attack. Nostalgia might call, But there’s no going back. Always making lovers and enemies.

Shiver at the screaming. Dim the light. Grey sunrise ending A sleepless night. Starving for a chance to breath. Hush the day. Starving for a chance to breath. The world can fan away. There’s violence down the hallway: Shattered glass. Keep still, keep quiet. Let it pass. Starving for a chance to breath. Hush the day. Starving for a chance to breath. The world can fan away. Quick breath and sobbing Chokes the air. Holes kicked in the stairwell. Clumps of hair. Panic came in off the street. Resigned to stay. Panic came in off the street. We couldn’t hush the day. Starving for a chance to breath. Hush the day. Starving for a chance to breath. The world can fan away.

He stayed home again Listening to the ceiling fan drone. Staring at dust and crumbs on the floor. One more day he spends alone. No one stopping by. But he doesn't seem to care. The empty chair at the the table's fine. He's not from The world out there. Down on the street He sees the art in black sideway gum. Finds anagrams in bodega signs. Can't tell you where his thoughts come from. Clouds of dust and smoke Blowing through his thinning hair. He's setting out hunting images. Terrified of The world out there. He can know the time of day From the taste of ozone in the air. Fell in love With a TV mast, But only hurts The ones who still care. He takes a deep long breath. The late autumn air is dry, crisp, and cold. As he breaths, his concentration slips. His daydream begins to take hold. Enraptured with this thoughts, His mind wanders who knows where. No one knows where he'll be found, Except for in his mother's last prayer. His mind drifts in the the cold, open air. A careless man still wandering, He'll never understand The world out there.

Pick me. Swear to give an honest History and have something to say. Too shy, Please pardon the obliqueness. Trust I feel it’s better this way. Might be wrong— Certain possibility. Let no one say I didn’t try. Narration: Highly unreliable... Self-aware voices are the ones that lie. Ambulatory Locked-in syndrome. Very grateful that I got caught. Style or substance? Grief or declension? Delightfully useless from what I’ve been taught. Crafting Charming mythologies For stale water liquor noise choking the bars. Illuminate Washed out auroras Brooklyn light-pollution obscuring the stars. Pipe steam Leaking from the sidewalk. Whirlwind twisting in the dust dry air. Voices Drowned in the commotion. Silent desires emerge as a prayer. Salvaging function, Personality broken: Talking and drugs for the schizoid type. Cigar-box crib, Oven incubation. Wearing me down with a familiar gripe. She asked me once, I hope she won’t ask me again. She asked me once, I hope she won’t ask me again. She asked me once I hope she won’t ask me again. She asked me once… Amtrak whistle Over the suburbs. Lonely murmur of 4 am. Pleiades gazing. Phantom amputations. Black mold mornings left choking with phlegm Green streaks Of rain cooper weeping From the stained glass Mary in the red door church. Journals From hi-fi mystics Rudderless zeal left me stuck in the lurch. Hungry: But know I’m still living. No thought out execution or impulse control. Desire's Never gunna tell you If you’re chasing a mirage for your ultimate goal. Hourly rooms From blood donations: A fair price to pay fifty years ago. But you know these days Blood, bone, and sinews Never gunna cover the price you owe. Broken teeth, Broken promises: In my esteem her legend breaks my heart. Waiting on a miracle, No, it’s never coming. Disillusioned with the grander of art. She asked me once; I hope she won’t ask me again. She asked me once; I hope she won’t ask me again. Rain to purify is coming, But she don’t know when. She showed me she’s a prophet; Hope she doesn’t show me again.

(instrumental)

Dog headed saint On a faded tempra icon. Skyscraper nightlight glows. Living as a thief, Dreaming as an angel. Breathing what the subway blows. So you can take what you want. I'll still be here to amuse. At our most dangerous When there's nothing to lose. Vicious tempered voice. Gravel choaked sreaming. No way that I'll talk you down. Bourbon muddy thoughts. Nosebleed explanations. Gifted student with a teardrop crown. So now were suck in a scene We never thought would begin. Now our nerves have teeth. Feel 'em gnaw through your skin. Hold on til daybreak. Let's turn the volume down And get through the night. Synapses all burnt out. Don't know how I'm going to make this one right. If I let you down, Never say there was no warning. Quite a habit that I've made for myself. Afraid you're what I want. Sabotaged me asspirations. Put your expectations back on the shelf. So now we're back here again With a fight we know well: The drunken arguments, White lies we both tell. Hold on til daybreak Let's turn the volume down And get through the night. Synapses all burnt out. Don't know how I'm going to make this one right. The decade flies. Time will steal it all. Good faith alibis. Addicted lovers brawl. Hold on til daybreak. Let's turn the volume down And get through the night. Synapses all burnt out. Don't know how I'm going to make this one right. Maybe the hangovers stop. Maybe the threats finally cease. Some day we might both grow up And leave each other in peace. Hold on til daybreak. Let's turn the volume down And get through the night. Synapses all burnt out. Don't know how I'm going to make this one right. Light on the eastern horizon, Memories flicker In the back of my mind. Bare hand in the fire. Wonder if I’ll ever leave you behind.

Oh, lost at night In the town where I was born. Bathed in soft neon light In the town where I was born. Knowing every street In the town where I was born, Not a single face I meet In the town where I was born. Spray-paint Holy writ Sidewalks kissed dew Tell me get home to you… Get home to you... Get home to you… Get home to you From an exile Drenched in Illyrian blue. In love with traffic noise, In the town where I was born. Transfixed with industrial joys In the town where I was born. All direction gone In the town where I was born. Days keeps pressing on In the town where I was born. Turned on, Written off. Didn’t think it through. Wanna get home to you… Get home to you… Get home to you… Get home to you From an exile Drenched in Illyrian blue. Strange precipitation In the town where I was born. Static on a numbers station In the town where I was born. Dozing cyclops moon In the town where I was born. Never thought I’d be back so soon To the town where I was born. Back lit Strip mall signs Ten dollar liquor drive thru Gotta get home to you… Get home to you… Get home to you… Get home to you From an exile Drenched in Illyrian blue.

How’d we get where we are today? A lifetime and a world away. Suddenly I realized We’re the kids in the sculpture. Fresh graffiti by our side, Exhilarated and terrified. Between broken and scraping by, We’re the kids in the sculpture. Twisting yellow center-line On the asphalt serpentine. Counterfeit venders shout, Iron morning stepping out. Cartoon diesel on display. Tempera ghetto blasters play. Elevated foam and wire. Here cause you’re a lousy liar. One more submission of your art Rejected like a transplant heart. Day-glo steaming manhole sighs: New York in a child’s eyes. How’d we get where are today? A lifetime and a world away. Suddenly I realized We’re the kids in the sculpture. Fresh graffiti by our side, Exhilarated and terrified. Between broken and scraping by, We’re the kids in the sculpture. Steel grate rumbles, Stockbrokers stumbles: Looking up Broadway Crossing Canal. Colors smell better When you’re in person! Welcome to your Brand new locale! Famished and your body’s tired, Senses sharp n’ nerves are wired. Hollow cheeks: the price you pay For something that you gotta say. Compulsion you know can’t be cured But, when the hell will you be heard? Is it crisis or a thrill? Can do but we can’t will our will. How’d we get where are today? A lifetime and a world away. Suddenly I realized We’re the kids in the sculpture. Fresh graffiti by our side, Exhilarated and terrified. Between broken and scraping by, We’re the kids in the sculpture. City gets busy, Husltin’ ‘n dizzy: Can’t afford what’s on the billboard. Styrofoam jetsam Drifts through sewers. Keeping afloat: Your only reward. Red Grooms scenery: Our morning route. Acrylic tones Are screaming out: Fin’lly hear the workmen shout. Find out what it’s— “...” Gettin’ lost and it feels all right. In the bastard of a monk streetlight. Hear the stalls of Chinatown. We’re the kids in the sculpture. How’d we get where are today? A lifetime and a world away. Suddenly I realized We’re the kids in the sculpture. Sidewalk gum in a drizzling rain. Brakes are screeching on the R train. Today the gallery came to life. We’re the kids in the sculpture. Fresh graffiti by our side, Exhilarated and terrified. Between broken and scraping by, We’re the kids in the sculpture. Grace Church ‘neath a hazy sky. M-5 goes rolling by. The world rushing through a fantasy: We’re the kids in the sculpture. City view from a fire escape: Daydream blessed form and shape. Dizzy but I don’t wanna go. We’re the kids in the sculpture!

Ionosphere Propagation. Static White noise poem. Nocturnal Transmission. Encode the voices And send them home. If you're broadcasting in the dark… Broadcast, And I’ll be there. If you’re sending out your voice, Send it out And I’ll be there. Enchant me With new technology. Steel tower Red beacon crown Stands vigil Above the city. Kilohertz spirit Gliding down. Border blast, Let me know you’re there. Border blast, Let me know you’re there. Been so long, I need to hear you. Border blast, Let me know you’re there.

Waiting… Waiting for the thaw. Warm relief now winter’s over, For skin that’s cold and raw. Sunset... Sunset stereo. Vapor trails and Monet cloud banks-- Where did twelve years go? Yo, Ezekiel! Tell me what’s it Gunna be. Quit your talking. Them bones walking or not? Guess you ain’t go not time fore me. Restless… Restless, wide awake. Same age now as when his mother passed on: Wisdom from a tough break. Yo, Ezekiel! Tell me what should I expect? Hear me callin, When I fallen down? Ain’t no chance I’m one of the elect! Yo, Ezekiel! Scratching notes on these Cold War streets, Try to write it, Try to fight it out. Rearranging words on tattered sheets. Naked and exposed Exactly as you had proposed: Strength is tested, ordeals composed. Vulnerability exchanged, Senses gorgeously deranged. Are you catching what they throwing? Are shrinking, are you growing? Are you knowing how They’re showing how they'll get the best of you? Cynics… Cynics boring me. Callousness is safe and easy, But safe is all you’ll be. Yo, Ezekiel! 6 o’clock siren screeching out. Where could we go, Now my ego's shot? Arrogance dressing up as doubt. Yo, Ezekiel! Crying vainly at the saints. Now defenseless, Sobbing senseless prays. Need guidance, don’t need constraints. Yo, Ezekiel! Illuminations lying prone. What’s it taking, Since we’re breaking down? Can’t pay ‘em back with what I own. Yo, Ezekiel! Does disappointment make you strong? How the bold go, When they’re told no more! Best lessons learned from being wrong.

The world has changed since he has been gone. He wouldn't recognize it. Now she's gone too. 11pm news In the summer air. Slouching half asleep In the worn out chair. Country music static On the radio. Drinking by myself And the demons I know. Watched 10 years go. 10 years after He was laid to rest We’re only left with the photographs In a cedar chest. Glossilalia purge. No spirit held to shout. But 9 holes in each hand Breathing in and out. Sanguine, warm, damp air Held a poison touch. She let the humor out To break miasma’s clutch, But bled too much. 10 years after She laid down to sleep We’re left guessing by the sickness That she hid so deep. Heard it from a friend now, Bout an ugly trend now. The all made their bed. She said “they’re a memory. You gotta let em go.” Master planning crashes. Brown eyes turned to ashes. Never coming back. They’re in the past tense now and for ever. Tapes with both their faces Still on VHS. Now they’ll never age As the years progress. Trips around the sun Now made cold and still. Wide awake a 3am Held against our will: Long nights to fill. 10 years after They both slipped away, Another decade of existence Passes by and 10 years after, And I’m still wasting time. The definition of a failure. Life gets squandered, But 10 years after We heard the news they’d gone, We’re closer to the time we’ll join them, But for now The world keeps turning, So we’ll carry on!

Chemical creatures, Bio features Learned to laugh, Learned to be dizzy. Ash and water Knows it’s breathing. Maybe knows it knows it Only this once. Womb and semen Woke up dreamin’ Is mind a verb Done by matter? Sun and moon Have heard the living. Life’s a trip No one survives. Slate-grey ocean, Churning motion. Staring at the home That bore us. Compassion needed ‘Cause life’s a virus: Am I scared Or am I in love? Blind collision, Hourglass vision. Listen to the car door Scraping on the concrete. Seeking joy Before the curtain: Universal symptom. I can’t find the words for this question That’s wearing on me. Dunno if we can even have an answer to “How do we be?” Cinders in the furnace glow Feeding crying ex nihlo. The stars fell into the sea. Waking up, his pulse is gone, Does the story carry on? Will these bones still be me? Cinders in the furnace glow, Feeding, crying ex nihlo. Diamonds, filth, and glee. Blooming in the cold, wet ground. Stomach turning round and round. How do we be? All perspective Born subjective. Accidents Might build the cities. Gods and angels From the mirrors. Who would ever Ask to be born? Smokestack plume, FM bloom. Burning through the 21st cent’ry. Young eye glare Reading history Will be history— No escape. Ozone prism, Spectral schism: Gems in the making Swimming in a heat bath. Opal stain To milk and blood. Reason alone Withers and dies. Ending is nearing Keep on cheering. Tangent ‘tween Infinity and zero Unified ‘pataphysics Joyful brief and foolish! Dread blessed Cathedral bells chiming Above the marquee. I doubt we’ll ever Answer the question “How do we be?” Cinders in the furnace glow Feeding crying ex nihlo. The stars fell into the sea. Waking up, his pulse is gone, Does the story carry on? Will these bones still be me? Cinders in the furnace glow, Feeding, crying ex nihlo. Diamonds, filth, and glee. Blooming in the cold, wet ground. Stomach turning round and round. How do we be?

Insults shot deadpan, Dry quips they spoke: The joke Was lost on us. Deaf to the subtext So we're the punchline-- That’s our yoke: Dream worshipers. Ashamed of what you cherish, Frightened by sincerity, So agree To not speak up, Or be ripped by well dress cowards Accessorized with irony: Dream worshippers. Maybe you’re wondering If you’re wrong to give a damn. Maybe you learned how foolish you are, But still say “I defined what I am." The timid shield where they're injured With jaded, bitter prose. So goes The century. But guarded ideology Ain’t a part of what you chose: Dream worshipers. Maybe he found something That can’t repeat on plasma screens. Maybe she was branded a pariah For the vice of saying what she means. Maybe we’re naive children Hellbent on more than ourselves. Maybe we’ll pay for our visions Once we chase a vision where it delves.